Nontek: "G'day mates! How are you going
buddy mate? That's wonderful!"
Untek: "Oh god he's doing it again."
Nontek: "Everyone knows that I'm true-blue, dinky-di, Aussie as they come. I was born here. This is my island home. I love a sunburnt country!"
Untek: "That's not true! You're from a parallel omniverse you fraud."
Nontek: "Shut up! I'm doing my vlog. I'm as Australian as AMPOL!"
Untek: "This is asinine... I'm going time travelling. Later, loser. Or earlier, whatever."
Nontek: "Anyhow, there’s a lot of talk at the moment about Australia getting its own version of the Patriot Act. And I mean who can blame us? It's the Australian way to freak out and draft new laws!
But calling it ‘Australia’s Patriot Act’? that’s crazy talk - Australia has had its own Patriot Act since 2005. It’s the Anti-Terrorism Act (2005). Did you know that we’ve had a sedition law on the books for almost 10 years? It’s true!
Sedition as defined in this act means (among other things) to encourage the overthrow of the government by unlawful means. It’s a form of incitement!
It’s also illegal to incite sedition. So do not under any circumstances encourage anyone to encourage anyone to overthrow the government by unlawful means. That’s TREASON you little TRAITOR. GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!
Encouraging someone to encourage someone to encourage someone to overthrow the government by unlawful means is okay. Do it. Go on, do it ya chicken.
Some people have suggested that the new laws that are being introduced are a massively disproportionate curtailment of our civil liberties. The Australian government disagrees, and to prove their point they would like you to mentally visualise the World Trade Center attacks times, like, a million. And you know, when they put it like that it seems reasonable. But here at Nontek UltraHeavy Industries we looked at the data and it turns out that you're over 830,000 times more likely to be killed by me than by a terrorist. And that's only counting accidental and quasi-accidental causes of death. Hell, you're 500 times more likely to be killed by the Skywhale Balloon. Obviously this is a much stronger argument for destroying crucial civil liberties. It's all about perspective."